my inner marauder , Remus lupin
by moonyxpadfootxwormtailxprongs
Summary: a story of four friends , a story of a boy , Remus lupin , who has no friends in the beginning but soon starts to get 3 wonderful ones , who also used to pick on him , a story of a lost friendship when he was 6 , but soon re found .
1. the beggining

flash back:

_Two boys at the age of five played on the very end of a garden , as though they were hiding , giggling and laughing , it was getting late , and they were both starting to feel very sleepy , but singing there favourite song , remus's mother had taught them ._

_" castor a shining burning star in the sky _

_I'll look up to see you way up high , _

_you'll look down and we'll smile together ,_

_i know that even if your gone , you'll love me forever. _

_and i love you , night "_

_" i know , Siwwy , mum will be worrying too , night bestest friend ever "_

_" Wemmy "_

_" yer " _

_Remus felt a pair of lips brush against his , and he gasped collectively , he was only five , and he knew it was wrong , they were both boy's , not many five year old knew this , but his father hated that kind , so he would always talk about how wrong it was for two men or woman to be together , so in following his fathers footsteps he pushed Sirius off , even if he did quite enjoy it._

_Sirius sighed he knew he would do that , he had heard Remus's father talk about them things anyway , every one heard that man . _

_" sorry "_

_Before Remus could replie , they heard a scream , and turned around to see a large wolf , and an oddly familiar woman standing next to it , he looked to see where the scream had come from , and felt his knees give in ._

_" MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM "_

_A slender figure lay helpless on the floor , his mum , Castor , and his dad , oh no his dad , now he really would hurt him , and there would be no mum to stop him ._

_Sirius froze what was happening , he saw Castor lying on the floor wounded , he saw her dying , he saw other people die , but what was even more disgusting was the killer , the woman standing next to Castor brandishing a knife , his mother , i don't get it , i thought mum only hurt me ._

_Five year old Remus turned to five year old Sirius , glaring , with a hurt expression playing over and over again in sirius mind ._

_" I hate you , bet you helped kill mummy , mum please donut die , you were friend , and you helped , I HATE YOU , don't never talk to me again "_

_Suddenly Sirius felt him self tighten , he didn't know why it hurt , well yer cause his friend broke up with him , but it hurt more that that , he was his best friend , but Sirius was to young to know what it was , so he slowly turned around , tears spilling majestically out of his eyes ._

_He heard a scream , Remus was lying on the floor , and looked dead , he was upset , and he fled , he didn't want to see no more , clutching on to the friend ship bracelet him and Remus had kept for as long as they had known each other __" _

_MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM "_

_A wolf like figure could be seen slumping through the trees along with a maniac laughing clarita ._

_Remus looked down to him mum and kissed her tenderly on the cheek_

_" Mum , please don't leave me , with ... with ... dad , plz"_

_A slender figure lay breathless on the ground , smiling , and looking up her son , sympathy sparkling mildly in her eyes ._

_" Mum , please , no , NOOOOO , mum get up , what will i do , GET UP , i love you " . _

_A barely spoken voice whispered softly , as he looked down to his mother clutching in pain , how could she be so understanding at this point , how , she's dying . _

_" As long as you don't let the thing in side you , change you Remus you will be okay , don't let any one change you , not the wolf , or your dad , remember the only thing that would let me down from you , is if it changed you "_

* * *

**Four years later **

**Remus pov : **

**He could remember his friends face , the tears , and that ever so satisfying kiss , he shouldn't , but he could , it was all part of the wolf , memory was strong in a wolf , in a thing .**

**He knew for certain he had known he had loved that Sirius guy , as a best friend , nothing else , but he couldn't believe he would help his mum , part of him didn't want to , but it was obvious , he was a black , and he was toying with his ability to trust .**

**He still had nightmares , and dreams about that night , the nightmare was the mum dying , and turning into a wolf , and Sirius running before he saw what Remus was , and the dream was playing with trucks , toys his best friend .**

**he remembered being kissed , he wasn't sure why , it felt weird now , cause as far as he knew he definitely didn't swing that way .**

**He sighed , and looked in his memory box , even if he had helped clarita he was his best friend , so he had kept the friend ship bracelet , with the inscribing on , he never left home without it .**

* * *

**Four years later**

**Sirius pov :**

**He didn't remember his friends face , anything , he vaguely remembered sandy brown hair , and a crooked smile , that made his head feel light , he remembered kissing him , but that was years ago , and he definitely did not swing that way.**

**He couldn't believe he was dead , he couldn't even remember his name , something like Rimas , he wasn't sure , he still had dreams of playing with him in the dreams he would see him perfectly , hear his name , but he could only remember that if he really wanted too , and he really didn't want to know , it would hurt too much , and night mares where he would see Castor die , another star just like him , and hear his accusing voice , and his mum killing Castor .**

**He had bin hurt on the last day he knew him , he had thought that he had helped his mum , him help Clarita black , never , but they were five , and if he was alive he would still believe it .**

**he sighed and looked in memory box , where he had put his friendship bracelet , and slowly started to smile. he never left home with out it .**

* * *

hope you liked it plz review 


	2. arriving  your crazy

remus remembered little from his mother , she had died when he was only seven , they day he was bitten , he remembered her name , castor , a star , his favourite , the only star he really appreaciated , she would allways tell him if she ever left , he would find her in the sky , he remembered her hair , golden , with shades of brown at the tips , just like his hair , exept hers was longer , her smile , her laugh , the lost laugh , every night he would look out his window and slowly say the speech he said every night , in hope she would here it . he knew she wouldn't , but it felt right to say it , his mother would have never stopped . he slowly recited his as close to bliss full words he thought he would ever say .

_every night , i prey for you , and wish you were alive , life is terribly horrifying without you , i get scared , dad hurts me , he hurts me so bad , if you were hear you'd make it stop , i know you would , mum , your my favouirite star , castor , pretty , and suits you perfectly , every night i sing your song , out loud ,_

he wasn't too comfortable with the song , because of sirius , his best freind , they would allways sing it together .

_castor a shining burning star in the sky _

_i'll look up to see you way up high , _

_you'll look down and we'll smile together ,_

_i know that even if your gone , you'll love me forever. _

_and i love you , night _

" move , it right now hogwarts , first year , go on then get out , NOW , you monster "

he practicly spat in his direction , remus shrugged a look of hurt forming in his eyes , he ran out of his door before his father could do any thing to hurt him , half the scars he had was because him, not because of the wolf .

He slowly headed for diagon alley .

" hello , are you lost , do you need some help , dear "

Remus chuckled lightly , as the woman came over holding her hand out for him to take , two boys stood next to her , one had scruffy black hair , and topsy glasses , and the other had absent black hair , that fell over his eyes , he wore an annoying smirk , they were smiling at him , and he couldn't help wonder why one of them looked like , just like ... OH MY GOD , IT'S BLACK . He slowly tiptoed back eyes burden with fear , black , not black , memories spread through out his brain , relative , no his EX best freind , he remembered clarritia black , a murderer , a murderer who had helped kill his mother , sirius who had helped kill his mother , he felt him self tense up , he wa absolutly petrified , he hadn't felt this way for for 4 years .

" I...I..IT CAN'T B...E , NO ... S...S...SIRIUS B..BLACK , YOU , YOU FILTHY LITTLE ..."

The boy looked taken aback at first , but after a couple of seconds , he let his eyes drop to the floor , and started to mutter , for a moment he felt guilty , but he couldn't be this was BLACK , some one who had helped claritia , well he had thought that , his best freind , the betrayer , the spie who had retended to like him so claritia could kill mum as he thought that an irrestible urge escaped him , and he lunged for the startled black haired boy , who was suprisingly very strong , allways was strong , but no match for the wolf that was brewing inside , he heard himself muttering something , but he didn't care , NO, why was dad here , he turned around , and ran , but his father was to strong and grabbed him tightly round the waist , pretending to be as nice as he could , he pushed him round the corner , and BANG , his face felt queasy , blood was oozing out uncontrably , he ran , and he he never stopped till he saw the train , he lunged for it , and slowly made his way trying to find an empty carriage , so he could just sit alone and cry , cry about his mum , cry about his dad , cry about the wolf , cry about his life , cry about his freind and cry that he had probally just gotten two boys to hate , and pick on him ever more .

* * *

After about ten minutes , he found a carriage , sitting comfortably in his seat , he brought out his mirror in his bag , not because he was vain , or because he was modest , he was nothing like it , he wasn't nasty , or mental , witch is what the what boys probally thought about him now , it was to check his face for any scars , or bruises . He sighed , Sirius was at hogwarts , every one just wanted him to feel utterly miserable , did no one , was no one , ever going to care about him again. 

_"castor a shining burning star in the sky_

_, i'll look up to see you way up high , _

_you'll look down and we'll smile together , _

_i know that even if your gone , you'll love me forever._

_and i love you , night . "_

He smiled trying to fake a smile that he oh so wanted to form on his lips again , he stopped , what were they doing here , two familliar boys , and another rather chubby one , were staring at him as if he was crazy , ' SHIT , did they just hear me singing '

" erm hi "

" you really are mental , whats ya name " james sneered over the top of his glasses.

" r-r-remus l-l-up-pin "

" psshhh , loopy lupin " the chubby one said through histerics , obviously he's easy to amuse.

' suddenly my shoes seem really interesting ' he thought miserably ' they think i'm mental , wierd , just like dad .

" why did you attack me "

A gruff voice , started to talk , it was his first words he had said whilst they had been there , ' i havn't heard that voice for so long ' and suddenly remus felt uncomfortable , and some what petrified , he was going to recognise him , and starrt to either blabber on about how sorry he was , and how he didn't hep , or kill him , either way he couldn't take it right now so he just said raher coldly " cause your a black ," he gulped , " i was told to stay away from you , it's my instinct , and JEEZ , WHATS THAT "

The three boy's turned quickly , and started to look for some thing that they couldn't see .

" y-y-your mental , theres nothing there "

" there is , its gone but there was , i swear ".

At that the boy's walked out , disbelievingly , and shuddering uncontrallably. sirius thought to him self unhappily ' ig he's mental , then why did i see it to '

Two hours went by , and after a while they finally got to hogwarts , and lined up for the sorting , he could feel the others staring at him , and pointing , heard the ever so faint whisper , that no normal person could usally hear , but he wasn't normal , the wolf hearing kicked in .

" I bet he's in slytherin , james , just like my mother , and my cousin , before that , he's mental , well i think so , well he's weird anyway , he's scary "

He felt him self fire up , he was NOT going to slytherin , not like his bloody father , or SIRIUS'S bloody mother, NO , and before he could stop him-self , he turned round to look at the figure who had spoken , and glared , deeply , reminding them of an animal , how right thay were in that , but they didn't know that .for now though he had bigger problems because now the wolf was angry .

" I WILL DAMN WELL NOT BE IN SLYTHERIN , IF ANYONE IS IT WILL BE YOU SIRIUS BLACK , OR THAT FREAKY GREASY HAIRED GIT I MET ON THE TRAIN , BUT NOT ME , NEVER ME , I'D RATHER DIE THAN STEO FOOT IN THAT ... THAT PLACE , BUT SIRIUS YOU'VE DONE WORST THINGS THAN STEPPING FOOT IN SLYTHERING ... ER YOU PROBALLY HAVE "

Snape looked hurt for a second , and slowly stood up , allowing every one to gather around '' EXSCUSE ME "

Even the three boys coundn't help laughing at that

" Yeh , what was your name again "

" Er Severus Snape "

It was exact , the timing , the voice , the sarcasm , everything , just like both of them remembered from a close friend , a lost friend , every one stared intensly , face blank .

" PSSSH MORE LIKE SNIVELLIUS "

" HOW DARE YOU , SIRIUS BLACK AND REMUS LUPIN YOUR AS BAD AS EACH OTHER "

Before either could retaliatte , or James for that matter , Proffeser Maggonagle , or other wise known as the BIG G stormed in , with an annoyed look on her face .

" Remus Lupin , i am aware of your ... child hood , but this is no way to cause it , and Sirius black , i'm afraid you really don't want to annoy him , he can be rather testy "

Everyone flinched at her voice , it was so strict , no one dared to speak back to her , she smiled , she loved that , so it wasn't suprising that even she was taken aback , as she heard Remus's voice echoing through the hall way .

" YEH WHAT EVER ' MINERVA ' , WITH YOUR POSH ACCENT HE STARTED IT , STUPID WEIRDO " he spat .

" Now now just line up , your about to be sorted ," the hint of suprise could be heard in her voice , she had never been spoken to like this before , and she didn't like it .

Remus reluctuntly lined up , reallising what he had done , and kept quiet through the lining up fo the sorting hat , he was aware that people were staring and pointing , he didn't care .

Thank god the wolf was gone

A loud voice echoed as they entered the great hall , he jumped back , banging head first in to a wall .

' Ouuch '

" LET THE SORTING BEGIN "


	3. the sorting hat

_**THE** **SORTING HAT BEGINS**_

Students piled in , all looking about as nervous as each other , exept for maybe James , but he wasn't really paying attention , he was focussing on a paticular red head that was apparantly called Lily Evans.

Even sirius looked afraid , remus really wanted to just go over there and hug him , to make it feel like old times but... he knew it would never be like that ... never again.

" QUIET " everyone stopped talking .

" LET THE SORTING BEGIN "

Remus sat down edged away from everyone , not really wanting to talk to any-one , and not really thinking they would want to talk to him , but slowly a small girl walked over to him , and sat next , smiling , she had red hair and bright green eyes , that were emarald , her smile was like a smirk crossed between a sneer , but it looked unique and kind of cute , he smiled , this must be Lily Evans , the one Potter had been talking about in the line .

" Hello , you must be Lily Evans " showing some of his enthuasm and wit , he had barely ever shown any one , but she seemed different , nice , nicer than any one he thought he was gunna meet here.

" Hi , yes my name is Lily evans , how did you know "

" James Potter "

Lily frowned , shuddering slightly , she hated that boy , James Potter , he had had the nerve to actually come up to her and pour his pumkin juice over her head .

Remus chuckled

" You been having trouble with him too then "

Lily nodded , she didn't really want to know what he had done to him , it oculd be worse , no she didn't want to know what that boy was capable of , espicailly with that messy black haired one , Sirius Black or something , all they needed was some one smart , mastermindable , but daring , although some one like that could probally do them some good , keep them in line , but also , totally make up some horrible pranks .

" I'm actually kinda scared , Sirius told me to be aware , apparantly theres some one really loopy here , by the name of Remus Lupin , i dont know wether to believe him though "

Truth was she did believe him , and she really didn't want to meet this Remus guy .

Remus sighed " whatever , i don't believe him , anyway found any new friends yet ".

" No not yet , hey you could be my first friend " she liked this boy , he was really kind , and to be honest he was kinda cute , ' cute and kind , this guys awsome ' , she thought , ' although he doesn't look like he's eaten for ages '

" Are you sure , i mean i'm Loopy , well i'm not but thats my new name now , Loopy Lupin "

She gasped , this was Remus Lupin , he wasn't mental , to be honest he was one of the most sane boys she thought she was gunna meet , although she didn't know about sensible, he had this weird glint in his eyes , a mishevious look , she had seen it so many times .

"Your Remus , but your not mental "

He smiled ," Thank you , er i shall take that as a compliment i guess , anyway what house do you think you'll be in , i hope i'm in grryfindor "

" Gryffindor "

At that the large hat bellowed , his name rather loudly , and he trembled slightly , he got up shaking , and slowly made his way to the talking hat , he sat down quietly , and waited for the hat to start to talk to him .

" Loyal , and ohhh the first very were-wolf ever to come to hogwarts , how interesting , your brave , and very trust ful , well well , i would say raven claw but there too smart , so it will have to be "

Remus crossed his fingers , and sang his mothers song on his head , like a luck charm.

" Gryffindor "

" YES "

Every student from gryffindor , exept james , peter and sirius , of course , screamed , and cheered welcoming the new gryffindor to thier table , it looked like he was gunna be quite popular.

A 3rd year , waked over to remus and beckoned him over to sit next to her , but about 5 minutes he got up and went to sit next to lily evans.

" Hey , why arn't you sitting next to maria Remus "

" Flirting with me , pshhhhh , i'm not THAT gulliable "

She laughed , and gave a scolding look in maria's direction .

" Hey , i wonder what dorm your put in , you'll probally be put in Sirius Black , and James Potter , and Peter Petigrews , knowing your luck ." she smiled , and watched as Remus dropped to the floor , then got up , making his way up to his dorm , A13 , oh please dont let i be with them , plz .

5 MINUTES LATER

"Oh no "


	4. dorm mates

**DORM MATES**

RECAP

" Hey , i wonder what dorm your put in , you'll probally be put in Sirius Black , and James Potter , and Peter Petigrews , knowing your luck ." Lily smiled , and watched as Remus dropped to the floor , then got up , making his way up to his dorm , A13 , oh please dont let i be with them , plz .

5 MINUTES LATER

"Oh no "

* * *

" oh nooooo , no , no , noooooooooooo " 

James , Sirius and Peter , stood gaping at Remus , with horrified expressions playing over on thier faces.

" what are you doing here , in OUR dorm " James said as nastilly as he could

" YOUR dorm , oh so seems to be my dorm too , and believe me i'm about as fucked of with being here with you , then you 3 are of with being with me , so get over it " He snapped

James rolled his eyes , and slowly started to beckon sirius over into the next room , leaving remus to let fall a single tear , unknown that sirius watched the small drop fall to the foor .

he slowly started to sing the song that he and his old friend ( sirius ) had sang.

he slowly started to sing the song that he and his old friend ( remus ) had sang

But it wasn't , to Sirius , and it felt horrible to remus as it brang back so many horrible memories that he would rather not rememorise

* * *

_don't worry i havn't finished this chappie yet lol_


End file.
